Enjoy, or tear apart. This was really just a quick ten-minute assignment...
I looked down at Samantha. She was shocked as though I'd just finger-banged her cat.
"Why do I have cheese in my pocket?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I dunno. What else have you got?"
Samantha sifted through her pocket, taking out each item and examining it.
"Lint, obviously," she said. "My car keys, your whiskey flask -" She paused to take a deep swig of it, and then tossed it back empty to me. "- and this cheese."
I looked at her hand and saw a long, soft cheese stick white and fat like a termite queen. It was strange since she: A) was allergic to cheese, and B) hated even the sound of the word.
"Maybe it's a new sex toy?" I said.
"Yeah, that's it," she said. "I got tired of banging my husband, so goddamn CHEESE is the next best thing. Jesus! I'd turn lesbian in a heartbeat and hook up with Bea Arthur's corpse before sticking this thing in me!"